The Aardvarks have stripped the captaincy from Gunner Gislason because of his off-ice shenanigans late last night. He was caught, numerous times, ringing strangers doorbells without invitation. The Aardvarks believe his actions were immoral.

The Aardvarks have now awarded their perennial 50 goal scorer, Cory Johannesson, the ‘C’ for next season.